Bonkers baseball

When two of the worst teams meet in an interleague matchups, you can throw the records out the window. A Royals tilt against the Mets was destined to be bizarro baseball. Hours later, I'm still trying to decompress.

While there was nothing ordinary in the Royals 16-12 victory, today's entry is going to be fairly basic as I figure the best way to break things down is to just go in chronological order. To try to weave a thread through this saga would be foolhardy. So. Much. Baseball. Happened. And much of it centered around Tyler Tolbert.

First Inning

My brain broke in the very first inning.

This reads like Joyce. It's impossible to comprehend. If I hadn't see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it was possible. And get this...Statcast didn't even measure the exit velocity or distance. Maybe it didn't happen?

Oh, but it did.

Error number one is about to happen:

Error number two incoming:

Annnnnd error number three. Look out, Mets third base coach!

I watch a lot of Mets games because I really enjoy their broadcast booth. One of the things that Keith Hernandez, a fantastic defensive first baseman back in the day, talks about is "fundies." As in, fundamentals. There are good fundies and bad fundies. Twice during this play, Hernandez could only moan, "Oh, my god."

Royals 0, Mets 3

Second Inning

Tyler Tolbert muscled up. Again.

Tolbert's second home run in as many games was an absolute rope, flying 377 feet with a 26 degree launch angle. When a guy turns on a cutter like that and drives it out, it's safe to say he's locked in.

There will be much more Tyler Tolbert ahead.

The Mets then countered with a two-run home run of their own. It was a rough outing for starter Seth Lugo, but like Noah Cameron on Monday, Lugo found a way to grind through his start. He could only give 4.1 innings, but nothing but respect here. It was a wonder he got that far.

Royals 2, Mets 5

Third Inning

This was a relatively normal baseball inning. There were strikeouts. Each team drew a walk. Carson Benge stole a base. If you were going to take a break to walk the dog or grab a quick dinner, this would've been the inning to do it. Hindsight.

Royals 2, Mets 5

Fourth Inning

The Mets have been trying to figure out what to do with Kodai Senga. He was optioned to the minors as he scuffled last year. Now, he's recently been exiled to the bullpen. Coming into Tuesday's game he had an 8.66 ERA with a 5.9 BB/9. He had had a couple of relief outings where he was strong in his first inning only for things to fall apart in his second frame. While Tolbert rocked him for that home run in the second, the Royals broke through again in the fourth.

Senga issued three walks and a single to Tolbert. With two down and two on, Senga left a 3-1 four-seamer in Lane Thomas's nitro zone. Thomas roped it to left to bring home two. Made it a one-run game. Momentarily.

Early in the inning, Lugo didn't make terrible pitches. He got the Mets to expand the zone to get some chase, but the contact was solid and he gave up three hits sandwiched around a fielder's choice. Then Juan Soto, the league leader in both OBP and slugging, parked an elevated Lugo cutter into the bleachers in right-center.

It just didn't feel like it was the Royals night.

Royals 4, Mets 9

Fifth Inning

I call it Bullpen Roulette. It's that dangerous game managers play these days by dipping into their bullpens with abandon. Go to the well often enough and you're going to get a clunker. Not that Senga was going well for the Mets. It's just that the next reliever up, Austin Warren, was worse.

Warren faced six batters. It went like this:

• Jac Caglianone double
• Nick Loftin hit by pitch
• Isaac Collins double - one run scores
• Michael Massey double - two runs score
• Tyler Tolbert single
• Carter Jensen walk

By the time Warren was pulled, the Royals had cut the Mets lead to two runs. Huascar Brazobán was next, in to face Bobby Witt Jr. with the bases loaded. He did get the desired ground ball from Witt, but he legged out to avoid the double play. A run scored. Thomas then walked, setting the stage for a blooped game-tying single from Salvador Perez.

Royals 9, Mets 9

Sixth Inning

There was no way this game was going to stay knotted for long. Offensive fireworks aside, we needed a reminder that this was still a Royals-Mets tilt. The afterglow of that Little League home run in the first was rapidly fading.

The Royals did their part in the sixth, squandering an outstanding scoring opportunity. Nick Loftin doubled to open the inning. Loftin has been somewhat overshadowed in these two games, but all the guy has done is go 6-10 with two doubles and a home run, driving in four and scoring four times. Collins walked and, after a Massey strikeout, Tolbert chopped an infield single to load the bases.

That was Tolbert's 11 consecutive base hit.

A perfect opportunity and one that the Royals could not capitalize upon. Jensen grounded into a fielder's choice with the out coming at home and Witt lined out to Brazobán.

With the Royals bullpen the way it is, every late inning of a close game is a situation fraught with danger. Daniel Lynch IV, who was efficient in getting the final two outs of the fifth behind Lugo, fell behind the first two hitters he faced in the sixth. Lynch was in for the lefties—A.J. Ewing and Juan Soto were due up second and third. He walked Ewing. He did jump ahead against Soto and on a 2-2 count got him to chase a four-seamer way above the zone. A harmless fly out.

Royals 9, Mets 9

Seventh Inning

Matt Seelinger was making his major league debut on the mound for the Mets. He's been knocking around the minor leagues for 10 years and is a local guy, growing up on Long Island. His task: Keep the game tied.

He was not successful.

The Royals untied it almost immediately. Thomas, the first batter Seelinger faced, walked on four pitches. Perez folowed that up with a double off the base of the wall in left-center. Welcome to the show, mister.

After Seeligner got Caglianone to strike out, Loftin took the rookie deep for a two-run homer. I felt bad for Seelinger. It's not like he asked to face this offensive juggernaut. The Loftin home run seemed to dislodge something in his psyche as he started spraying baseballs all over the home plate area, issuing walks to Collins and Massey.

That brought up Tolbert, on the verge of major league history. Under normal circumstances, with a rookie pitcher who can't locate any of his offerings on the mound, I would implore a hitter to take a strike. Tyler Tolbert waits for no one. He offered at the first pitch.

That was Tolbert's 12th consecutive hit. I love that hits number 10, 11 and the one above did not leave the infield. The guy is a burner. He's also apparently a power hitter, too, since he's now left the yard in back to back games.

From Sarah Langs:

If, at any point this year, you asked me to list a Royal most likely to roll off 12 consecutive hits in 12 PAs, Tolbert's name would have been at the bottom. The way he did it, with that blend of speed and...power...what a cool moment for him. This Royals season may be lost and truthfully, I have been searching for ways to maintain interest, but it's moments like these that jump up and demand your attention. I can't quit this team and this game.

Oh! There's also this...

Roberto Clemente and Tyler Tolbert? What? How awesome is that?

I feel like there needs to be an asterisk next to both Clemente and Hi Myers. Myers, a speedy center fielder, pulled off his back-to-back five-hit games for the Brooklyn Robins in a 13-inning game that ended in a tie where he got six plate appearances and in a 22-inning game (!!!) where he came to bat 10 times. And the first game of Clemente's back-to-back five-hit games went 16 innings where Clemente had seven plate appearances. Tolbert is the only one of those three who did it in regulation games. While going 10-11 in that span! Amazing.

Roll call!

• Infield single
• Single
• Infield single
• Double
• Home run
• Infield single
• Single
• Home run
• Single
• Infield single
• Infield single
• Infield single

Hell, Tolbert is probably the first player in major league history to record six infield hits over a three-game span. Someone get me Elias Sports Bureau on the phone!

Perhaps inspired by their offensive catalyst, the Royals kept scoring. Jensen walked to force in a run. Witt hit a run-scoring fielder's choice. Thomas doubled again. The Royals batted around for the second time.

John Schreiber couldn't find the zone and then started throwing pipe shots to get strikes. He was relieved by Beck Way. By this point, I was getting the vapors trying to keep up.

Royals 16, Mets 11

Eighth Inning

The Royals went quietly in Seelinger's second inning of work. Meanwhile, Matt Strahm did normal Royals bullpen things in allowing a couple of singles and a walk. The Mets scored again. Nothing is easy.

Royals 16, Mets 12

Ninth Inning

The leadoff hitter for the Royals in the ninth was Tolbert with a chance at baseball immortality. He saw two pitches up and way out of the zone from lefty A.J. Minter and then offered at an elevated cut fastball. The ball flew to right and into the glove of Benge. The streak was over.

What a moment where all of Tolbert's teammates are on the top step of the dugout, giving him a much-deserved ovation. It's been a difficult...no, it's been a terrible season. For Tolbert to go nuts at the plate like he did and for his teammates to acknowledge that...It's just something that makes me happy.

FINAL - Royals 16, Mets 12

Whew.

If you try to tell me that you saw this offensive outburst coming from this Royals team...well, I'll have to call shenanigans. In their last two games, the Royals have scored 31 runs while collecting 42 hits. On Sunday, they were scoring 4.1 runs per game, which ranked around 27th or 28th among major league clubs. On Wednesday, they are scoring 4.35 runs per game. That's 19th in the majors.

I'm exhausted. And I'm probably going to spend my morning rewatching the game with the Mets feed. You have to savor these games because who the hell knows when we will ever see anything like this again.

I'll leave you today with this:

If that isn't just the coolest thing.